Our culture has become so ridiculously centered on this idea of women as sex objects, there's almost no room for dissent. If you have sex at 16 you're a whore, if you're a virgin by 21 you're a prude. It seems that people have forgotten that some girls move at their own pace, something I feel should be respected. I know everyone says sex is a big deal, and it is for your first time. Society overlooks the emotional repercussions of sex. Some people are capable of having "casual" sex, but let's be honest. Being as humanly close to another human being is an intense experience, and intimate experience, and for most people those emotional repercussions just can't be turned off or toned down. In most cases sex is intimate. It is serious. And often in the first time, it is a well thought out and talked about decision.
Now, I'm not saying that sex for the first time can't be good sex, on the contrary the emotional connection can be one of the strongest of your life, but most of the time it's awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and the girl doesn't get true sexual satisfaction. It takes a woman 20 minutes to orgasm and only 20% of women can achieve orgasm by penetration alone. Men take quite less time to orgasm, and most young men hardly know what a clitoris is, let alone what to do. But it's the young women who don't tell them what they need, mostly because they (we) don't really know. I know this isn't something talked about very often but, women's orgasm/pleasure has become some sort of taboo. A man and his "right hand" are common cultural references and are not seen as taboo, but what about women? Don't we have a right to know what pleases us? Why must our discovery be shrouded in cultural taboo and shame? Why do covers of magazines give you "101 Ways to Please Him" instead of "101 Ways to Please Yourself"?
I'm taking a huge leap here but: isn't sex that is mutually satisfying lead to more satisfying sex overall? I mean I could be wrong, but when both parties achieve orgasm doesn't that make for better sex? Or am I off the deep end here?
I know this is an intimate topic, and most people don't share my stance or bluntness, but here's the deal gents (if any gents read this):
Most of the time she's faking it. Most of the time, you aren't.
Don't fake it. Because once you discover what gets you off your sexual partner will probably be realllly confused when you suddenly stop proclaiming his greatness after a 10 minute romp in the sheets.
And most of all:
Just because you're young doesn't mean you can't know what gets you off. Experiment and enjoy yourself. And just because "everyone's" having sex, doesn't mean you have to, and trust me...everyone is just as confused, scared, and emotionally unprepared as you. You aren't alone. Don't feel pressured by society to punch that V-Card because your first time should be a glorious experience not a 5 minute disappointment. Sex is complicated and scary and yet it can be amazing and special. Wait if you have sliver of a doubt. Wait if you think it's the wrong time. Wait if you think it's the wrong guy because down the road he'll be gone but that memory will be there forever. Set a high standard, put yourself first. Your body and how you feel matter.
Just some words of advice. Not the Bible or the word of God, but ideas.